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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

How Many Rings Are There in a Marriage?

Answer: Three! (Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffer-ing)

I wanted to take this entry to discuss the issue of engagement rings and marriage in California. Many a client has asked me, "I was engaged but not anymore. Can I get the ring back if I don't marry?"

In California, there is actually a law written on this! It is found in California Civil Code § 1590, and it says, "Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just."

In other words, the answer hinges on "Who broke it off?" The law says if the RECEIVER broke it off, or it's mutual, you can get it back.

Speaking of rings, companies are specializing in making "DIVORCE RINGS" now. Says the owner of http://www.transitionrings.com/ - "...it's my divorce ring but it was all about hope." "They are symbols of hope for life's transitions," she said. "They are all about hope and moving on ... step by step, day by day with hope. "It's about taking it a day at a time," she said. "I have a heart to see people emotionally heal." Sounds like a gold mine! For the full article, CLICK HERE.

And here is some advice from Abby:

LITTLE ROCK — DEAR ABBY: I am a 45-year old woman with two daughters, ages 20 and 23. I married my high school sweetheart, “Cooper.” I had heard rumors that Cooper had strayed from time to time, but had no evidence to back it up, and, of course, he denied it.

I went by my husband’s office one day to surprise him, and his new secretary informed me that Cooper had just taken his wife to lunch at a local bistro! I went right over there and found them whispering, kissing and feeding each other. I did not make a scene. When Cooper arrived home that evening, I confronted him. He tried to deny it. I called him a liar and he slapped me! (A first.) He moved out that night, and I filed for divorce.

I pawned my wedding band and engagement ring. The clerk asked if I was going to buy a divorce ring. I had never heard of one. I searched online, found a nice one, ordered it and wear it proudly.

Cooper and his parents are livid! They say I am poking fun at him and accuse me of “promoting divorce.” My friends and oldest daughter think it’s cool. Some of my divorced friends have ordered rings, too. The ring is different in design, beautiful, makes me feel good and shows my independence. Should I feel guilty for wearing an identity ring like this?

- Divorcing and Loving it North Carolina


DEAR DIVORCING AND LOVING IT: No, you should not. The next time Cooper and his parents accuse you of “promoting divorce,” remind them that it was Cooper who promoted divorce by openly cheating on you. If the ring brings you pleasure - and comfort - then enjoy it.

However, please be aware that many people will not understand its significance - and if you wear it on the third finger of your left hand, they may think you are still married and unavailable.

2 comments:

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Elison Duncan said...

It is depend of religious and self thinking to wearing a ring. There are one or two wear rings ok. Everyone are not forgettable marriage day.

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