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Monday, June 30, 2008

What are the Most Common Causes of Divorce?

I attended a most beautiful wedding yesterday, of my dear friends Josie and Lemar, aka "Jomar".

At the wedding reception, the bold DJ inquired as to the longest-married couple in the room. A couple married for 40 years proudly raised their hands. "So what is your secret?" asked the DJ. The husband humorously replied, "We stay out of each other's hair".

Then, the DJ inquired as to the shortest-married couple (other than Jomar), which I proudly raised my hand. "So what is your secret?" he asked me. Without hesitation, I proudly stated, "Scott gives me everything I want."

I know we'll last forever.

But why do other marriages fail? Here are some top-cited reasons for divorce, as posted by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, in their article, "Making Marriage Last"

Why Marriages Fail

Not all marriages fail for the same reason. Nor is there usually one reason for the breakdown of a particular marriage. Nevertheless, we hear some reasons more often than others.

They are:

Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities

There are other causes we see a lot, but not quite as often as those listed above .They are:

Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills.

If you are considering divorce, please consider this: Statistics are against couples who remarry one another. More second marriages end in divorce than first marriages. Psychology Today stated that a whopping 60% of remarriages fail. And they do so even more quickly; after an average of 10 years, 37% of remarriages have dissolved versus 30% of first marriages.

If you have not yet divorced, but are considering it, please explore couseling. In this day and age, there are several resources for those whose marriages need help. If you need referrals, you may always contact this office in confidence. Marriage is for life. It is worth saving.

1 comment:

Collla said...

I feel that one of the reasons that people are divorce is because damage in there previous family. if a person has been molested, abused or has something that they have in there family of origin and they do not deal with it. That part of there life when they were damage can be brought into there marriage and cause more damage.