Los Angeles Divorce and Family Law Attorneys: Our Blog

Please Follow Our Blog, LIKE US on FACEBOOK and RETWEET Our Articles!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Marriage Advice: Watch your mouth


Just as a doctor can diagnose a physical ailment by examining your mouth, so can you examine your own well-being by what is coming out of your mouth.

I've been a divorce lawyer for 10 years. I know why marriages end. I will be so bold as to claim 100% of them end due to someone's tongue.

A recent client of mine came in. She wanted to end her marriage. Her husband was gainfully employed. He had never cheated on her. He has never hit her. He is a good man, by all definitions, she said.

Then why?

She said to me, "The verbal abuse was too much." "It is not ok to say the things he said, and I can't take it anymore.

This upcoming year, make a real effort to guard your mouth. If I can do it, you can do it.

I will conclude by sharing a wonderful story my father sent me years ago.


There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him
a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must
hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had
driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned
to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually
dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to
drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He
told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out
one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father
that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led
him to the fence. He said, "You have done well, my son, but look at the
holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say
things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put
a knife in a man and draw it out. It won't matter how many times you
say I'm sorry, the wound is still there."

A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

Just one more thing...

Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence!

~ author unknown ~

1 comment:

Randi said...


That was a great article. The story about the nails in the fence is spot on. Thank you for sharing this with us. Happy New Year.

Randi Susan Klein